Written by Halal Parenting
Raising children primarily revolves around educating and caring for them. It is a process through which parents are able to help their children grow from dependent babies to independent adults. Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an:
ِإن َّ َمآ أَ ْم َولُكُ ْم َوأَ ْولَـ ُد ُك ْم َِف ْت َن ٌة َواللهُ َّ ِع ْن َد ُه أ ْجرٌ َع ِظي ٌم
Your riches and your children may be but a trial: but in the Presence of Allah, is the highest, reward. (64-15)
Children are a great test from Allah (swt). They are to be shown mercy and love, and they have rights to education and guidance.Parents must first educate themselves as to the rights of children and then do their best to impart knowledge and wisdom upon them.
It is a difficult task that requires many years of patience and dedication, with no guarantee of success.But if you have taqwa, and believe and trust in Allah swt, then insh’Allah your prayers will not go unanswered.
In an effort to help their children keep up and even overtake their peers, parents often become over-involved (excessively) in their child’s day to day life.
This parenting approach is now a huge part (and problem) of today’s parenting culture.Children are now raised in an environment where they are taking a back seat in their own lives and their parents are running the show.
Questions directed to children are being answered by parents, frustrating teachers, doctors and career counselors, among others. Over-bearing parents, wanting to ‘help’ their children have instead rendered them incapable of taking risks and growing into their own person.
COMMON PARENTING STYLES
"Spare the rod, spoil the child." These parents have strict rules and high expectations but do little to explain the reasoning behind their demands and expect children to obey without question.
Children's basic needs are met but these parents are typically detached from their lives. They offer little guidance, structure, rules or support.
These parents have high expectations but at the same time are highly responsive, nurturing and supportive, rather than punishing.
Undemanding, highly responsive, lenient parents make few demands of their children. They do not require mature behavior, encourage self-regulation and avoid confrontation.
Positive parenting focuses on learning (for the future) instead of punishment (of the past). Studies consistently show that this approach results in better behavior, emotional growth, academic performance and mental health.
A very informal style of parenting where children are encouraged to live without constant adult supervision. This approach is aimed at instilling independence and self-reliance.
This parenting style is strict and highly demanding. Tiger parents push and pressure their children to attain high levels of academic achievement, using authoritarian parenting methods.
This philosophy promotes a close relationship between a child and its parents, focusing on treating children with kindness and respect to encourage a sense of dignity and mutual admiration. Aggression is avoided in favor of gentle discipline and sincere correction.
There is a reason that Jannah is accessed through the parents – because of the sincere efforts and sacrifice made by them for the sake of their children.
The Positive Parenting approach aligns best with Islamic ideals as it encourages parents to raise their children through love and gentleness.
Instead of dwelling on past mistakes and punishing for them, this approach views any error as a learning opportunity.
The Positive Parenting style is an effective method.
It encourages parents to explain to their children how to behave and why. Parents focus on finding solutions instead of punishments. They shift their focus to giving attention and positively praising good deeds, rather than only giving attention and punishments to bad behavior.
Such an environment leads to increased self-esteem, increased self-confidence and it motivates kids to continue behaving well.
Written by Halal Parenting
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